As I mentioned in my last entry, I’m writing a book. It will be based upon much of what I have and will continue to publish here, and may hopefully touch, or even help someone in their own quest.
Dr. Wayne Dyer, God rest him, has been an incredible influence on me, as have Neale Donald Walsch, Deepak. Ester and Jerry Hicks, too. Nearly every day I pick up another book and my eyes open a little further. While their part in my development undeniably influences and inhabits my writing, I think my background helps provide me with a new perspective, and may provide a new voice that will resonate with a new audience.
Some people feel, well, spoken at rather than spoken to when they see “M.D.” or “PhD” or “Dr.” on a book cover or a seminar ad. Maybe they’re intimidated, or maybe they’re self-conscious and uncomfortable around people they perceive to be of elevated station. My origin is a bit more humble. I don’t have a PhD, I sell cars. I don’t even have a degree. I’ve lived a life of self-loathing and self-destruction; personal worthlessness and despair. I’ve hated and hurt and spited and spat at life and all those who loved me, and who continued to love me through all of that. I’ve swallowed the bottle of pills and cut stripes into my flesh and broken my hand punching walls. I’ve been used and abused both mentally and emotionally and let it happen because it was better than being alone, and because (in my mind) I just didn’t deserve any better.
I want to touch people who have walked similar roads. I want to leave this world, whenever that happens, having made it a better place than when I arrived. I want to speak in MY voice, a new, different voice coming from a different perspective.
God lives in and of me just as God lives within you and everyone else. I’ve chased success and abundance away all my life. I’ve railed that I would never be happy. I’ve touched greatness and rejected it, knowing it couldn’t possibly last because I felt unworthy of it.
And I’m writing a book about personal redemption through the discovery of my own perfection and my own beautiful Godliness. I’m writing a book about your redemption. Your perfection. Your beautiful, unique, wonderful Godliness. Because you know something? We all sometimes feel as if wee need to redeem ourselves. We all occasionally feel worthless and irredeemable. And none of us are. NOBODY is. No one actually needs redemption, but knowing that, knowing and embracing that at your core, is a journey. This will be the story of one way through that morass. Not the path, for I no more believe in only one path than I do in only one hair color. My path isn’t your path, but just maybe my path can teach you a little about your path. After all, like the hair analogy earlier, there are as many colors and shades and paths and destinies as stars in the sky, but we all return to where we came. We all find our destiny and our clarity. Just as all hair eventually fades or falls out, we all end up the same. It’s not the destination that matters, because the destination is inevitable. You can’t fail. It’s all in the journey.
I’m as far from perfect as a human being can be, and I am totally perfect and absolutely beautiful as I am. I want to share with anyone with whom my voice may resonate that they are perfect and whole and complete right now. Without making a single change in their lives. The only flaw they have, the only flaw any of us have, is our own limited understanding of ourselves and our potential and the total divinity that is our birthright. Owning that perfection and accepting it is all anyone really needs to do, and I want to help them DO that. I want to change a life. I want to be part of the paradigm shift in perception that is needed in this world. I want to be here when human understanding reaches critical mass and the collective consciousness of humanity finally awakens with a gigantic gasp!
This life may not last long enough to witness that, but if I can help it along; if I can help just a few or even only one soul awaken to their purpose and potential, then I will know that MY song has been sung. When I close the door behind me on the way out, I will know that I did my part; I lived my dharma.
I’m writing a book.