Who’s Running My Life?

This has been a truly monumental month for me, and it all started with the passing of spiritual icon and my personal (though we never met at all) mentor, Dr, Wayne Dyer on August 30th.

Like so many of the people whose lives Dr. Dyer had touched, I felt, and feel, his passing very deeply. I certainly don’t mourn him, but I mourn for the world that he no longer inhabits. Of course, many, many examples of his continued presence and influence have been reported, and we know that he never will leave, as none ever do.

Dr. Dyer spoke frequently and eloquently about what he referred to as “Quantum Moments”; those elusive, instantaneous awakenings when suddenly the universe and all its workings in your life are suddenly and blindingly clear. He was very open and public about these instances in his life, and how they so effectively altered his path and put him in alignment with his truth. His divinity.

I wish to be very open about mine now.

In the wake of his passing, and to honor his wishes for its maximum distribution, Hay House put up a link to view Wayne’s movie “The Shift” free of charge for a couple of weeks. Of course, not having yet had the opportunity to see it, I leapt at the chance. This was moment one. The movie itself is about these shifts in perspective, these Quantum Moments, and how they occur and what they mean to us.   I had mine late in the film, when (no spoilers here, please watch it for yourself) the young mother began to rediscover her love for her art, when I felt my own sense of renewed purpose, and it was in this very moment that I realized that this book had to be written. It was as if an enormous door had swung open in my mind and I knew immediately that I was to write a book, inspired by the contents and context of my blog. Write it, publish it, and reach out to the world through it. To use my gift with words to serve and uplift the world.

It was about a four minute scene in the film, but I had to pause it to catch my breath and dry my eyes. The joyous sobbing and pure, gobsmacking clarity of the moment had completely taken my breath away and left me gasping and sobbing.

I’ve watched the movie again with my wife since, and one more time alone. It is one I’ll likely watch many more times over the years, and I doubt I’ll ever fail to choke up just a bit at that certain spot.

So I immediately set to work on this book. Writing, studying book proposals and how to acquire an agent or to work directly with a publisher, even investigating self-publishing.   I currently have nine books from the local library sitting next to my writing space, serving either to inspire me or to help me to get published and inspire others.

My second moment came just last night, September 24.   While re-watching the memorial service broadcast from the Hay House “I Can Do It Orlando” summit opening, where many of Dr; Dyer’s colleagues, friends, and family celebrated his life with his many fans, again via a free live webcast and subsequent review link from Hay House, I experienced yet another blast to my core.

The speaker was Anita Moorjani, whom if you don’t know, is the author of “Dying To Be Me” (again, please read it; so stirring and incredible), her recounting of her death from aggressive lymph cancer and her subsequent, almost instant, healing. Anita has been to “the other side”, and she brought back some incredible insights, one of which is the non-linearity of time. Time, as you and I know it, is a straight, beginning-to-end progression, but in the Real World, in Source, it doesn’t move like that. Anita spoke of how she could see into any period of her life which she chose, and anyone else’s as well. Omniscience is real, as omnipotence, and it’s ours there, just as it’s God’s.

It was while watching this, and contemplating the myriad examples of Wayne touching lives from beyond the veil, that I had what was initially just a fun thought: “Who knows, maybe Wayne reached into my life and influenced my wife to buy Dr. Dyer’s “Wishes Fulfilled” book/CD/DVD set for me when she did, to make certain I got it when I needed it?”

Instantly, and I mean right that instant I knew that wasn’t the case. I KNEW, immediately and beyond any shadow of doubt, that it was me, myself, who reached back into my own past and influenced my Jacquelynn to stop and listen to that man in the silly hat on PBS. To order the full set, not just the book, but the CDs and DVDs as well. To help put me on the path I needed to be on.

I can not possibly emphasize the certainty with which this struck me. There is zero doubt in my heart that exactly this occurred.

I was at work when I was watching this on my computer, and I am SO grateful that no one came around the corner into my office at that moment to see the huge smile on my tear-streaked face.

It took a few moments to catch my breath and focus again on the present moment. It was during that process that the logical outgrowth of the revelation hit me: if I felt it important enough to reach back and affect my own life in that way, then it was obviously for a purpose. It tells me that I “got there”, that what I’m doing needs doing, and that I need to be the one doing it.   It further tells me that my “mantra” of recent months, that “everything happens for my best benefit” really is accurate, because I am making it so.

I am running my life. Now, and then, I am steering my life in the direction it needs to go, and I’m driving this train from both ends.

In all my life, regardless of what I’ve accomplished or whom I’ve encountered or loved, I have never, never believed that my life would truly matter. I’ve never even thought it. Sure, I’d live my life and maybe make another person smile and maybe someone would be happy with me, but to honestly matter, in the big picture? To be a factor in changing lives and helping people on a grand scale? It never even entered my mind that it might actually ever happen, but this tells me that it will. That it DID. That what I’m doing is important, and it leads to more important things.   That I really, honestly can seriously help people and serve mankind in an impactful way.

This is not an exercise in ego boosting, I assure you.   It’s a revelation and a confirmation that I can and will honestly help people. I can and will be of real service. Nothing could be more fulfilling to me. Nothing could be more holy to me.

My heart is full, and my mind is racing, and my fingers are flying across the keyboard.

Who’s running my life?

I am. I really am.

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