Fear is the great human weakness. Fear has an insidious way of coloring our perceptions and showing us what we fear rather than what is actually there to see. Learning to see with my heart and my senses rather than with my fears is proving to be a, shall we say, gradual process. To be kind.
When my fears drive my reactions, I see Jacquelynn as very ill and constantly at risk of more and dire loss as well as in constant danger of another “disconnect” at any moment.
But when I look through love and hope, I see only love and hope. This perspective is all-important in our situation, as she is inescapably going to feed off of what I’m feeling and perpetuate it. I’ve seen this first hand, too. Whenever I feel down and overwhelmed, it is inevitable that she will have a very bad day. She’ll struggle for words, her energy will be low, and she’ll be argumentative and uncooperative. Conversely, when my day starts bright and smiling, hers does, too. If I maintain the sunshine, then by-and-large, so does she.
Alas, I do seem to be getting better at keeping my energy and therefore my attitude higher and brighter. Twice-daily meditations are helping, and I’m sure that eating the same fully organic and garbage-free diet I’m feeding Jacquelynn is helping, too.
But staying positive isn’t easy.
Many people have read at least some of this blog, and as well-meaning as they are, some of them cannot embrace the concept that mainstream medicine isn’t all-knowing and armed with the latest and greatest information. Meaning n harm in any way, they’ve fought this battle or know someone who has, and they are either unable or unwilling to believe that there was a chance for recovery that they weren’t led to themselves. They think we’re chasing unicorns in our quest for a cure, and feel compelled to prepare us for our inevitable failure. After all, Alzheimer’s disease is an unrelenting death sentence. “Everyone knows a cancer survivor, but no one knows an Alzheimer’s survivor” is the common wisdom, isn’t it?
I respect your opinions, all of you, I really do. I understand where you’re coming from, and I’m truly grateful for the love I feel from you. I’m deeply sorry if you weren’t shown the opportunities we’ve discovered. Uninterrupted, Alzheimer’s is on course to claim 160 MILLION LIVES worldwide by 2050. We’re here to keep that from happening. It isn’t a death sentence. Not any more. We’ll make believers out of you eventually. Just stick around and keep reading. The improvements we’re seeing are real and quantifiable, and they’re going to continue. They’re going to grow and we’re going to get Jacquelynn back to herself. It’s real, and it’s happening right here. First, we save Jacquelynn, then we use her example to save the rest.
All 160 million of them. None need die.