So, this has been a very interesting couple of days.
I’ve been exploring a few options to trim expenses around the house, while also desperately needing to upgrade the snails-pace of our nearly 15-year-old internet service. These two desires sort of dovetailed into some research with a local provider who offers both. Actually, it’s the same carrier we’ve been patronizing for our ‘net all this time, but with the new fiber-optic lines just laid in our neighborhood last summer, their services have expanded greatly, and with the bundling options, I’ve hammered out a plan which should provide benefits on both fronts: faster service and about $20-ish less outlay per month.
Not wanting to just make the executive decision without involving her, I enlisted Jacquelynn’s input.
It was with a little trepidation that I did so. I truly wanted her opinion, and I hoped to stretch her self-expression muscles a bit at the same time. The results just knocked my proverbial socks off. Her response was so ready, so fluid, that it would almost have been possible to forget her illness. I’m honestly tearing up again right now reliving it.
Her speech was sharper. Her focus was more intense. Yes, there were stumbles. She paused to find the right word a few times and even wandered off track once or twice. But for the first time in a very long time, I could see the woman who used to negotiate multi-million-dollar supplier contracts while wearing costume eyeglasses as a body-language deception, a classic trick to help ensure your opponent would underestimate you. She made shrewd points, suggested different research parameters, and insisted on polling friends and neighbors on their experiences with the companies we’re considering. Examples from her past experiences dealing with utility companies sprung forth with rhythm as the conversation got flowing.
Today, we’ve revisited the subject, of course. I haven’t yet illuminated on her the great growth evident in the conversation because I don’t want to get her focused on the thought just yet. I will, of course; I’ve promised to always point out the progress and improvement when I see it, so as to boost her confidence even more. She has, however, begun talking today about working again when she’s fully recovered. It’s become quite the focus for her today, actually, and I believe that to be a very, very good thing. She’s always been a goal-oriented person, and if she’s now able to set and focus on goals, I say that can only signal a still-further-healed brain.
Just a couple of days ago, I was looking at a photo of her I took from around the time of our wedding last April. It is miraculous to me to see her in that photo and in the flesh today. She’s smiling in the photo, modeling her dress, and it is obvious at only a glance that she’s very ill; there’s an emptiness to her look, as if she’s really not there at all. I see that and I recall how very frightened I was for her. Today, however, the lights are truly on and there is clearly someone home and hard at work. She looks sharp, and is obviously thinking at all times. She’s working her heart out, and I see more and more lights coming on in the mansion that is her mind every day, and nothing could thrill me more.