I can not put the words together to describe this year. Those of you who have followed our path already know, and I’m not going to spend this space dredging up the worst memories.
What I am going to do is this: I’m going to paint a picture for you. A picture of love and prayer, of sharing and caring, of giving from the heart.
The year of 2018 showed us the depths of love possible from people whom we truly barely know. I’ve called all of them “friend”, and treasured their place in my life, but nonetheless stood (and still stand) gobsmacked at the kindness and generosity of so very many people. From financial contributions to countless prayer, meditations, well-wishes, and just plain old positive energy.
I could justifiably label 2018 the year of fear, or the year of my own breakdown. How about The Year Of Failing Magnificently?
I prefer The Year Of Miracles. For all the angst and tears and drama this year sent me, it all came with a message. I had to hit rock-fucking-bottom to hear it, but it was a message of Miracles.
I tried to do the math, but A) Math has never been my strongest suit: and B) I am way too lazy for that crap. But I know that from my Facebook friends and family, our neighbors and local friends, and all the people who have told me of the prayer chains started in their churches and places of worship, all the meditation groups and all the forums I’m involved in, we have had literally thousands of prayers and hopes and meditations and thoughts sent up and to and for us. So much loving energy cannot, will not be denied.
So, with so much love floating in the ether for us, Jacquelynn and I decided that a Christmas Miracle was imminent. Inevitable, even.
And we were right. Our Christmas Miracle has been unfolding since the very early hours of December 25, and every day (some days, almost every hour) has brought us a new sign and indication of healing and recovery. We have both always believed in miracles, and I do not believe they are rare or even uncommon. I believe that miracles happen every day, and we all spend so much energy denying, explaining, or discounting them that we refuse to recognize the holiness of which we are ALL capable; the presence of God in each and every one of us. The miraculous in our everyday.
So the picture I’m painting for you is this: I look out, with my mind’s eye, onto a vast sea of faces. Countless faces of beautiful and fascinating variety and diversity, each with one thing in common; they’re praying for Jacquelynn and me. Each and every one sending their love and blessings in whatever way they choose, each achingly selfless in their willingness to spend time and energy on us during this crazy stressful time of year. I recognize many of these faces, too; family, of course, as well as customers, co-workers past and present, and artist friends from distant corners of the world, as well. There are the friends I’ve made who have shared my journey as caregivers for their own family, as well. But there are many, many more I’ve never seen before, but I know who they are, at least in the abstract. They are the living embodiment of love, as are we all, if we so choose.
As I gaze upon this throng, I feel their love and their prayers cascading over me, flooding me as though I were at the base of a giant waterfall, but I’m not drowning; I’m buoyed and elevated, lifted up and supported by countless unseen, unfelt hands. And in the wake of all of this joyful, illuminating love, all I can think to do is to return it. To share it. To amplify it and send it on a return course increased a thousand-fold. To wish for each and every one of these beautiful faces every healing and blessing their lives desire. To want even more for them what we so desperately want for ourselves.
I send that same energy and love to each of you reading this. I love you, and I thank you for all the healing, loving “Miracle Juice” you’ve sent our way this year. You’ve all helped as you were able, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
The Year Of Miracles, indeed.