A very important aspect of Jacquelynn’s treatment, and stressed by Dr. Ross, is finding your spiritual peace. It has been proven more times than can ever be reiterated in the space I have here that worrying and fearing and stressing over your health has an inevitable and profound effect, causing a continued downward spiral. The return to health simply can NOT happen if you’re spending your energy wallowing in your illness.
Our faith is something with which we are very comfortable. I almost typed “which we take very seriously”, but honestly, I believe that humor is inseparable from faith. If you’re too damned serious all the time, life and faith are both going to be pretty dour. We are decidedly NOT what anyone would call religious people, but we do have our faith, and it is very important to us.
So you’ll understand what I mean when I say that, in as non-denominational a way as possible, I had on Monday a ”religious” experience second to none in my life.
I’ve been cleaning what used to be “my room” (Jacquelynn and I kept separate bedrooms up until last winter when she needed me there at all times, and quickly became permanent), sorting and organizing while preparing the room to once again become my writing space, and to double as a guest room when friends or family come to visit, as so many have recently been volunteering to do. Much though it sometimes seems as though we’re out on an island here, I really do have a tremendous circle of love in my life, and I am inexpressibly grateful.
While cleaning, I’ve also been listening to music on my phone, it sitting on the bureau behind me as I sit on the floor at the closet door, rotating randomly through all the 2000+ tracks randomly.
Taken from the advice of Abraham*, one of the habits I’ve developed over the last few years is keeping what is called a “Magical Wishing Box”. In this box, actually a repurposed and very ornate Christmas cookie tin, I keep my wishes. Only the very most important wishes go in, writ bold on a piece of notepaper, and when I close the box, I recite “That which is contained in this box IS”. This is a very prayerful and meditative ritual for me, and that wording is repeated on the handmade label on the lid of the box.
I was casually sorting through a pile of things next to the closet door, and the wishing box was atop that pile. Playing in the background was a very good Neil Diamond song, but I wasn’t paying the sharpest attention to it. It wasn’t until I picked up the wishing box and opened it, and my eyes fell upon the largest of the two pieces of paper in the box that the music really caught my attention. Neil had gone silent, and at the very instant that my eyes beheld the paper reading “FULL HEALTH FOR JACQUELYNN”, the musical lead-in for Louis Armstrong’s “What A Wonderful World” began.
At. Precisely. That. Instant.
This is, to my ears, the loveliest and most special and hopeful song I have ever heard. It has, for many years, meant beauty, peace, and contentment to me, and hearing it at that very moment as I read my wish-note, resonated and echoed in my mind and heart in giant, sky-high letters as
EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE PERFECTLY OKAY.
It took several moments for the flood of joyful and grateful tears to slow, as I wept and hugged the box to my chest. Afterward, I checked my fitness watch to find my heart rate slowly coming down from 107 bpm.
I’m still reeling, and still overflowing with joy and gratitude.
It’s rare, this kind of profound experience. Rare and not to be ignored. I go forward today with a renewed and vibrant confidence. I no longer have doubt and fear, I have banished uncertainty and replaced it with full confidence and unshakable faith. We ARE on the path to full health, and we will not waver from it.
*From “Ask And It Is Given” by Esther and Jerry Hicks